Since the Last Time

Sorry for the delay folks. The last two weeks have been crazy but so so good! Orientation was a blur of name games, presentations, and getting to know one another. I have to say, this group of people is incredible. Everyone is super cool and funny and really interesting in all our own quirky ways, but we all mesh well. From the very beginning it felt like a family.

Anyway, we've been on the road since Friday (aka 6 days now) and it has been an overload of luscious green trees, winding roads, and most recently, hills (the Midwest failed to train me on that one). We ride in groups of 2-6 and I've had the pleasure of being with different people everyday and it's cool to see how we all ride and the kind of encouragement we need when the times get tough. Three states down: Maine, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts, and we have been spoiled with the weather and scenery. Beautiful blue skies and bodies of water. Not only that, but we have had fantastic hosts who feed us crazy good food and help us get whatever we need. 

Example: yesterday the hanger on my bike (Ruby is her name; and the hanger is part of the rear derailleur) was bent and Sherry took me to two bike shops around North Hampton, MA to get it fixed. I was late for showers so Karen took me and waited for me while I got clean. That is generosity and selflessness at its finest and I was thankful to be on the receiving end. We had some really good conversations too and it was really nice to get to know them, especially since they were hosting us. 

We are in Pittsfield, MA for tonight and tomorrow while we build. It'll be number three and the other sites have been full of framework, laying flooring, ladders, saws, and hammers. It's slightly overwhelming when 33 willing volunteers show up, but all of the site supervisors have been great to work with, outside of an older volunteer named Bob (we think) who I nicknamed Mr. Grumpypants. It's never boring on a construction site, at least not when Bike and Build is there.  

A trail in western Mass 

On site in Fitchburg, MA 

And So It Goes...

As my last semester gets underway, I have more than school on the brain. Yes, classes are important (you are talking to a soon-to-be-graduating senior though...), but the prospect of sunshine, biking shorts, and meeting 32 other adventurous people have me somewhat preoccupied. 

With a non-profit called Bike and Build, I am fundraising (Donate here to support me!) and will be raising awareness for affordable housing by biking across the country. Yep, you read that right! 3,993 miles from Maine to Santa Barbara in two and a half months. 

You think I'm crazy?! Well read some of my other posts from my time abroad in Bulgaria and you'll find I am just that, a little crazy, but in the best way possible! I have a bad case of wanderlust and the chance to volunteer for a really good cause. 

A few things I'm looking forward to this summer: 1) getting to see and know the U.S. by using my legs of steel...I'm still working on that. 2) making new friends from all across the U.S. 3) bulking up on my bike knowledge because flat tires and loose chains are inevitable. 4) building houses for really awesome and deserving families! 

Some of you might want to hop in the saddle and ride with me, others are happy to nod and internally think "This girl is nuts." Either is great! You can help me though by dishing out some dough (did you like that little rhyme?)! We fundraise to help the local affordable housing groups we'll be working with, among other things, and so I am asking for your help! Check out the website www.bikeandbuild.org. You won't just be helping me, you'll be an integral part in this trip just as much as I am, I'll just be sweatier and have really bad tan lines. 

And don't forget to tag along with me through my journey of the time zones. 

The Facets of Family

Call me a sap, but you know what, I don't care. Sap isn't necessarily a bad thing, people.

Family (defn.): a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household; a person or people related to one and so to be treated with a special loyalty or intimacy.

Boeding Family Reunion

Mom's family. I rocked that blue dress.

I just have one thing to say: I have an awesome family. Over the summer I had the pleasure of seeing all sides of my family- at the Boeding family reunion in Seneca, KS, celebrating Independence Day in SD with the Keisers, visiting Brunswick where I spent a lot of my childhood to see my Mom's parents and siblings. Mind blown. I've always loved my family, but these people are seriously cool. And at the ripe old age of 21, I suddenly had an epiphany: I am really lucky to have the family I was given. 

Coral sisters

My Sheeby

They are there for me. They stick up for me. They welcome me back with open arms. They evoke my dreams. They hug. They love. They laugh with me. They take care of me. They accept me for who I am. They spur me on in the things I do and love. They bring good memories. They represent good times to come.

I do believe family doesn't just have to be blood related. Let me give you some examples:

My beautiful friend Morgan

I'm a part of Coral (which is the name of our delightful, little, fading pink house), my cozy family of college friends who have been there for me, watched me grow, and helped me keep my sanity throughout the roller coaster ride that is Truman. They have taught me a lot about what it means to be a good friend and we laugh a lot. Just think dance parties (usually solo on my part), porch swings, and good company.

The old gang

I have the girls I still talk to from high school who I can catch up with and it's like no time has passed at all. We've definitely been through enough and know enough about one another to be considered part of the family. These are the people I actually want to see when I go home over a break.
 
My newest family is that of Indigo Wild. They made me feel like part of their tight knit family the minute I stepped into the factory as their summer intern. We listened to Margaritaville every day (I'm fairly positive that plays every day), always talked about food, and they invited me to come work over my breaks now that I'm back in school (not that I need school...okay not necessarily true). My love for these women grows exponentially and I am thankful they love me as much as I love them.

Indigo- they welcomed me with open arms

My conclusion: I live the good life. Yeah I have some struggles, but at least I have those people that I know I can lean on to get me through. The future weighs pretty heavy on my mind right now with graduation approaching (yes it's in May and I know it's 7 months away, but still) and though my circumstances will change, I know these people won't. And I like that.

(2) You know you're in Beirut when...

1. While you're stuck in traffic you notice that there is every kind of car- Kia, Toyota, Honda, Mazda, Suzuki, Nissan, Citroen, Renault- but the most popular seem to be the big hitters- Land Rovers, BMWs, Jaguar, and Mercedes Benz. It's just different when children live at home through their twenties- they have more money to spend on the luxurious things in life!

2. Though you do see women wearing ridiculously high heels, although not the Blago five inchers I was used to, the popular shoes are Birkinstocks and Converse. Riddle me that.

3.You see posters and billboards everywhere advertising fashion, food, and old political leaders. 

4. When everyone I meet asks, "Where have you been? Have you been to the beach yet?" 

5. You can travel the whole country in a matter of hours. Border to border, it is so close and there is everything. Sea and mountains. Valleys and caves. Forests and a big city. It's gorgeous. 

6. When something happens that would shock the world, like most of what is happening in the Middle East right now, and they ask, for kids, "So there is school tomorrow?" and for adults, "What do you want for lunch?" (during the week)

7. You go to a "pub" and it is a mix between a pub (the talking atmosphere), a club (the music), and an outdoor bar (the tables).

8. You can see a mosque and a Catholic church right next to each other. It is a beautiful dichotomy. 

If I Had To, I Would Do It Again

At this moment, I wish everything would stop. Do you ever wish that? That things would come to a standstill and you could have time to process all that is happening to you? All the changes within you, all the changes around you, all the changes involving you? I do.

Disclaimer: this is a jumbled mess and probably isn't easily followable. So read on and bear with me; hopefully I got across the big points of what has been on my heart lately. 

I've been in Beirut for a month now and with only two weeks left, and only a month before I'm back home in the States, I am starting to feel every emotion. There is contentment, happiness, joy, loss, grief, reflection, longing, passion, love. Plus much more that I cannot even put into words; they sometimes jumble together, making them incoherent hybrids that make my heart contract and my mind fuzzy. All of this will lead to good in the end. I know it will, I just have to sort through all that has been going on inside me lately, which is not necessarily an easy task, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you. But you probably know that as well.

At my internship I am working primarily on the subject of education and technology. Separate and together, and what I find interesting, and it's a wonder why I never fully realized it before, is how fast the world is moving when it comes to using technology. As much as I loved living in Bulgaria, it sometimes felt like I was living 20 years ago, hence my lack of technological know-how (that and I'm not as tech savvy as others). Either way, it's amazing. There are apps for every little thing and iPads are now being used in classrooms and people are discussing how other technological functions are going to be implemented in the near future. And there are debates about what is right for the budget of spending on technology for schools and is using technology in the learning process a helpful, stimulating tool or is it a distracting thing that detracts from their work. Honestly, I don't know. I understand that we are in the time of Facebook and Apple, where everyone has a smartphone and you are out of date if you don't have one. When did the distinction between a cell phone and a smart phone come around? Call me old fashioned but good lord. Yes, we have the entire world at our fingertips, but do we have to use that privilege all the time, 24/7? And yes, I think it's a privilege. After a few months without a cell phone and spotty internet, you come to see it as a privilege. At least I do.

So with my head whirling from all the technology that I am surrounded by all day every day, I can only look back and remember when I was little and cell phones were big blocks of gray and black with super long antennas. I look back to when I played tag outside and I roller bladed around my neighborhood and jumped on the trampoline, seeing who could be the one to go highest. I remember playing in my grandparents' hay barn on The Farm, climbing and making up games with my brother and cousin. And as time kept ticking, it brought me to volleyball tournaments with crazy warm-up routines (you would think we were a pretty strange bunch if you saw us, but hey, it was a special thing between us). It brought me to driving and trying (and failing miserably) to parallel park. It brought me wonderful friends who I still learn from. And then time wore on, and took me by the hand and gave me college and beautiful friends who have touched my life in unimaginable ways. It lead me to my faith. It led me to study abroad.

Which gets me back to my original thought a long paragraph later. Sorry. I love technology. I do. I see all the benefits and the good advancements that are happening because of what it can do. I wouldn't be blogging and publishing my thoughts if there wasn't the Internet or Macbooks (I am an Apple person- commence the PC v. Macbook debate). I wouldn't have been able to share my photos of all my adventures this past year if there wasn't Facebook. I appreciate what technology can give to society, but I also see what it takes away from society. Little kids are more interested in playing racing car games than climbing trees and playing on their iPods instead of getting their knees dirty. It was great living without a cell phone in Blagoevgrad. It was freeing. But when I go home I'll be surrounded by people only on their smart phones. I won't be joining you friends. Where is the human contact? Where is the face to face conversations?

I want everything to stop. Have you ever seen Clockstopper? It was a pretty awful movie to be honest, but it was about this guy who had a watch who could stop time and rearrange situations. Now I don't wish to rearrange situations, but I do wish I could stop time, to have more time with the amazing friends I made in the Bulgs, to have more time to spend with my family here in the Lebs, and to have the ability- the freeness- to travel more and elongate my time abroad. I want to keep going to Piano Bar and eating banitsa, I want more conversations to get to know people better. I want to spend time with people I didn't spend near enough time with while in Blago.

My cousins' school had a festival called Vintage and I went with their cousin Soha. And she was so nice and accommodating and she let me hang out with her and her friends for the night. And as I was meeting these sweet girls, it reminded me of my friends and the great times we had together and for the night, I became an honorary alpha (they call themselves the alphas, which I love). It was a small gesture, but it was one that touched my heart. It's these little moments that I wish I could stop time in, the three hour conversations with my aunt, sitting outside on a blanket having a picnic outside Skapto 2 with people dropping by as they pass to the Balkanski Center. It's about how the little moments are strung together to make the bigger impact. That's all that really matters in the end. At least to me.

You know you LOVE Bulgaria when…

1.     you will miss Skappy’s ham and cheese toast.

2.     Blago knows you are leaving so he gives you a going away gift of spotty internet. I think he's really trying to get me outside to spend time with my people. 

3.     you will not miss seeing men coming out of the woodwork in track suits when the weather turns nice.  

4.     you go somewhere else and you say da for yes, despite being fully aware that that isn’t the way they say yes.

5.     you read signs in English and you start to see Cyrillic instead. H=N. P=R. Oh now I’m confused.

6.     you miss seeing stray dogs. Where did Horny go?! I can't find Jumper! I miss them!

7.     you go out to dinner and you don’t get your food at scattered times. What do you mean I don’t have to wait an hour after my companions are done eating to get my food? And, you can hear the person you are talking to. Hold on, I don’t have to shout anymore?

8.     you will miss getting banitsa at 3:30 am after a long night of partying at Underground or Piano Bar.

9.     you can actually watch tv without it being dubbed.

10.  the first thing you mention about missing the Bulgs is how cheap it was. A 2L Shumesko for 2,69 leva, yep, that’s real.

11. you can sit outside for 8 hours on a blanket with friends, having nap time and a picnic, only for it to become a party with cake and alcohol. It’s the good life.

I will miss you Blago, your beautifully luscious, green trees, your sunny afternoons, the sound of the rushing river as I walk back to the Skaptos, your Raffy’s ice cream stands, chocolate soufflé, kebabs and banitsa, Macarios futbol matches, Shumensko and Zagorka, Lollita, Underground, Piano Bar. I will miss you Blago, for you were the perfect place to spend four months getting to know crazy amazing people (I mean we all had to be a little crazy to come to Bulgaria in the first place), for teaching me about myself and my strengths and weaknesses, for showing me what the world is really like (at least some of it anyway) and for getting me out of my American bubble. Thank you Blago, for being nicknamed Blago. Thank you for being awesome.

Bulgaria, you captured my heart and gave me the semester of my life. You are a beautiful treasure the world holds and it is a pity more people don’t see the real you. Thank you for your lovely mountains and your cheapness and your nightlife and for AUBG and for bringing me new and fantastic friends that have forever touched my heart and made it light. To all who I spent the semester with, thank you for the good times, the great memories, and love I felt when I was with you. I wish you all the best of luck on your next adventures and remember, ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE! Remember the times we had and smile because they couldn’t have gotten any better! Nasdrave, my friends to one hell of a semester. We did it right.

(Not so) Finally Finals

It's finals week. The week we all dread yet all love because it's the means to the end. After 15 weeks of classes, it all comes down to the last test, paper, or project to be completed before you are free for the glories of summer.  The weather is a siren, tempting you away from books and laptops to blankets on the grass and ice cream strolls. Instead though, you look out the window, hating yourself for studying instead of enjoying the goodness that Mother Nature has finally graced you with.  But this finals week is a little different, more bittersweet than the ones I've experienced in the past. It's my last week as an exchange student. And it's my last week with these people.

It makes me sad and if my friends knew I was writing this they would not be happy with me. We all live in denial at the moment, ignoring the fact that by the end of the week we will have to say see-you-laters (goodbyes have such a finality to them) and give last hugs before departing our separate ways. It looms above us, threatening to rain on our parade and yet, we have pulled out our umbrellas and wait for the downpour that will eventually, or very shortly, ensue. But I like rain. And I like playing in the rain and watching its beauty as the drops hit and make everything sparkly. There's a refreshing sense to the feeling of rain. 

So this is how I choose to look on this last week here in Blago (I decided this as I was writing this sentence).  We are going to give these last three days hell as we celebrate and enjoy our last days together. And as we part ways on Saturday I will look back, probably with glassy eyes and tear streaked cheeks, at all the things I learned and experienced and saw. But most of all, I will remember the fantastic times I spent with some really amazing friends (who I will love forever) and I will smile, because I am better for knowing them and blessed to have had them as companions through this journey here in Bulgaria. 

And the countdown continues... 

(more sap to come later)

Lights, Camera, Hunger Games!

I'm kind of a movie snob and while that may not be my most redeeming quality I can't help it and here's why. My stepmom worked for AMC for a while and one of the perks was getting to see free movies. Yeah. Any, and all, within certain stipulations. I'm not going lie, in the last two years I've seen around 80 movies in the theatres. Now some of you would see this as a major waste of life but no, no it was not. It was wonderful.

I like to go to movies by myself. Some people feel bad for me and ask why? I don't try asking around and I love going whenever I want to see whatever I want. AMC has become like a third home (behind my legitimate home, Truman State, and AMC is tied with Barnes and Noble) and it's really bad when they know you and ask how you're week has been. I like to snack on Swedish Fish or Raisinets (seriously the best movie junk ever) and when I go with my parents I like to eat my Dad's cinnamon sugar popcorn. Try it, don't deny it. I always pick the seats-two or three rows up and I sit right in the middle. That is the best view of the screen, no contest. I prefer when people don't sit in front of me because then I can put my feet up on the seat in front of me, but I'm not going to get all dramatic if it doesn't work out. I can't miss the previews. That is one of the best parts of the entire movie experience because it gives you reasons to go back, and I want to go back. I'm not a big fan of people who talk during movies or are on their cell phones. Why did you come to a movie when you wanted to be social. You go with people you want to talk to before and after the movie. (Most of these are in optimal viewing situations.)

The Hunger Games. Fantastic. If you haven't read them go and buy them immediately. These books got my roommate Anna to read something fiction- she hates fiction. It is one of the hopeless battles I have with her and I will win eventually, but regardless, she loved them! They are super easy to read and it is endearing to see Katniss volunteer for Prim and then duke it out for her life. She seems tough and yet, she is very vulnerable, proving she's human and not just some robot yielding to the Capitol and to President Snow. This could lead to a very long post though so I will stop here.

Anyway, they had a midnight premiere...in Blago. Seriously?! I was flabbergasted. And ecstatic! We went to check earlier in the week and much to our surprise (Sabine and Keegan were with me) it was playing at 00:30 (military/European time still takes some time adjusting to)! Oh man! We high-fived and yes, we were out in public and it was a very exciting moment. And then the guys behind us were laughing and pointing, but hey I didn't care. I had been talking about this movie for the past 6 months. I was stoked to see it and it was in tiny town Blago! I was jittery the entire day. Class was a waste because how can you think about anything else when Hunger Games is on your mind? I don't really know either.

So as I walked out of the theatre and into the chilly Bulgaria night air at 3:00 in the morning, I was content. My friends had put up with me for so long about this and Sabine and Mary even read the book before the movie and that made my heart full. What a sacrifice for them, right?! But not only was I content, I was awake. Literally. It felt like 14:00 and I was ready to rumble. And though I had class the next morning I couldn't go to sleep so to celebrate the Games we went to Piano Bar, where it was practically empty, and we danced. And had a really really really good time. And I got back around 4:30 and went to bed only to wake up the next morning at 9:00 to edit through a paper and go to class. Oh the college life. May the odds be ever in my favor!

Barriers and Будьмо

Can you feel it? That hum? That pulse? It runs not in your veins but in the streets, through neighborhoods and shops, into people as they go about their daily lives. As they walk briskly to work or stroll the City Center during rush hour. And as I sat in the underground mall or walked the streets of Kiev, Ukraine, and watched people go about their lives I realized this is normal. For them. Yet for me, it's one grand adventure- of seeing a new place and experiencing a new culture, a new language. And to think that people walk by St. Sophia's Cathedral or Independence Square every day and don't really see it is incredible. Every city has a heartbeat, and I was lucky enough to feel Kiev's.

In our society today do we take the time to stop and truly listen or see or feel something? I would say no. We are rushing constantly trying to make appointments and lunches and we let the little things slip past us as we "live life". Going to Ukraine and living in Bulgaria for two months, I have come to the realization that we take many things for granted and we don't even acknowledge it. We get hung up on when homework is due or what we should do over the summer or how we are going to make money for next semester. All are valid things, but did you notice the gorgeous mountains with snowy caps set to a clear blue backdrop? Did you take the time to see how your friend is doing or eat lunch slowly and really taste the food you are eating?

Ukraine was a wonderful experience. I set off last Friday with two amazing friends- Mary and Sabine- full of adrenaline and excitement as we left Blago to set our scene in Kiev and L'viv for a week. We saw so much and walked even more (we literally walked the entire city, at least that is how it felt anyway), but of course what would an adventure be without its barriers. Keeps things interesting, right? That's what I think too.  Language would be the biggest and most foreseeable thing, of course, and every other obstacle we had stemmed from the fact that we couldn't speak the language. Being in a Bulgarian language class really helped in knowing the Cyrillic Alphabet, yet even then there were little differences. Example: Ukrainians use the "И" and "ї" for the same sound. So some words would you the first, some the second. In Kiev you would use Russian and in L'viv you used Ukrainian. It's little things like that. 

This is one of the smoothest trips I've ever been on. Mary, the courageous one who asked people for help, Sabine, the decision-maker, and I, the navigator (for those of you who know me, what were those two thinking, right?!), we made the perfect traveling team. There was cohesion and we talked things out instead of getting heated with one another, and we approached things with a positive attitude. How I could get so lucky to have these two ladies was mindblowing really. And they are just a blast to be with. We had this thing throughout the week, one of my favorite parts, where when we had just done something really awesome or a situation that could have gone really badly turned out fantastically, we would group hug. Right there wherever we were. That's right, in the middle of Kiev, crowded streets and all.

One of the coolest things we saw was the Chernobyl Museum. It is about the nuclear plant outside of Kiev that in 1986 blew up because of high radiation levels. It devastated people's lives, killed many, and forever altered Ukraine. And yet, when did we learn about it? Never. I hadn't heard of it and we aren't taught it in school, at least not in the U.S. It was amazing to see these people and the aid they received and what they had to go through and to know that it was mostly covered up at the time is astounding. To think that there is stuff that happens that is never revealed to the public is kind of scary. To think that people have the power to alter history and we (the public) never really knew what happened- wow. The world is all about striving to gain power in any way possible and once they have it they will do anything to keep it...think about that for a minute.

On a happier note, the food and beer was really good. Ukrainians know their light beer and sausage. We had some amazing meals and those are some of the times I will remember the most. The good company, the easy conversation that flowed between us, the delectable food placed before us. If you are ever in L'viv, go to Kumpel- a brewery with in-house beer and homemade sausage- and Bunker- set in a 1940s bunker from WWII it has great food and a lively atmosphere. Get the half meter sausage. So yummy.

After being in Bulgaria and going out with many different nationalities, we have a new cheers to add to the list. Nasdrave for Bulgaria, Prost for the Dutch, ¡Salud for the Spaniards, Lechaim just because, and now Budmo for Ukraine. So despite all the obstacles we faced throughout the trip (which were few in number) at the end of each day there was always a drink and a cheers waiting for us in order to celebrate. To celebrate life and new friends and a new city and a new perspective on the life that God gave me. And now settled back into life in Blago, with a new appreciation for the surrogate home I have made here, I raise a glass to you, to living life and risking what you know to gain even more than you expected to receive.

Будьмо!

Lent and the Crushin' Russian

Milka. Kinder. Mypa (pronounced Moora). Lion. KitKat. Nutella. 

What do all these have in common?

Let me help you even though I'm sure you know at least one or two of these, if not from the picture. They are all yummy, deliciously smooth, and tasty chocolate (I was in no way trying to undermine your chocolate or even sweets intelligence. I know too much myself so no judgment here...). And what do you think I go and do.

Give it up for Lent. WHAT WAS I THINKING??!!! 

I don't really know either but I did and I'm committed because today is day one. So here's to day one of Lent and to all the things that you have given up in hopes of making your life a little better or to have more time with God. Props to you because this is going to be a long 40 days. Why anyone would give up chocolate while they are in Europe is beyond me, but I'm just crazy enough to do it. 

So in hopes of turning myself around for spring and bathing suit weather, I went to Pilates tonight. But I'm not sure it could be considered Pilates with that music (it was very entertaining; I was practically laughing the whole time which probably didn't help me any) and the four different exercises wrapped into one class. And the instructor was Russian. That was just the cherry on top. From cardio-kickboxing to dancing to some serious abs while listening to Enrique, it was definitely a good workout. No complaints here. She counted in Russian and was silent but deadly; she didn't talk much, but man does she work you hard. And some of those moves I've never done before and I will never do outside of that aerobics studio. But maybe it's because of the music it was paired with. Some awkward moments, if you know what I mean.

Afterward I did homework with friends and we met on the third (American) floor and all was fine and dandy, but then I had to go back downstairs. I was top heavy, and not just because I was graced by being that way to begin with. My backpack was super heavy and with my legs being sore already I was scared of toppling down the stairs. Needless to say, I need to work out more and I need to gain a better tolerance if I'm going to commit to the Crushin' Russian.

MASH and other assorted candies

I wish I could go back to the days of Looney Tunes valentines and suckers and class parties in second grade. I wish I could go back to the days when it wasn't about love and whether you were single or in a relationship. I wish I could go back to the days when your parents were your valentine (thanks for being mine, Dad and Nikki). 

Yes, I know that it's a few days late, but I feel that it should be said. Valentine's Day is consumerism at its finest. Hallmark makes millions on the "holiday" that people either loath or love.  But really, there is nothing special about Valentine's that couldn't be celebrated any other day.  Men buy their ladies gifts and flowers and chocolate and take them on a usually expensive date while the single people have pity parties proclaiming they don't have someone special. 

I want to get back to the point where Valentine's Day is having a good time and celebrating life, whether you are married, dating, or single. Love is everywhere.  Everywhere. All you have to do is look close enough and realize it's not about getting chocolate and feeling lovey-dovey or depressed, it's about viewing this crazy life through the small window God gave us. And that is something to rejoice over. We all have valentines. And we are all loved. It's about moving past the physical love of this world and really looking for the heavenly love that we all have shining on us. 

I want to go back to the days of MASH. To the days of being silly and completely myself. And yet, I am back to those days; I never really left them. I have found them here, and at home, people that I can be myself with- in the craziest of times and in the most serious. And that is an incredible thing. I spent Valentine's opening a package from my parents, playing MASH to predict our futures, and going out to a wonderful dinner with my girls, and it was glorious in its simplicity. I was glowing with happiness. That is what Valentine's is all about: being with people you care about and just enjoying the fact that you get to live in a day utterly overflowing with love. It's something that I've realized recently. So don't sulk because there is no one romantic in your life; instead, feel grateful that we get to praise the greatest love everyday. I have been blessed with great friends wherever I go and to know that they care as much about me as I do about them. Now that is truly something to celebrate. 

(1) You know you're in Bulgaria when...

 ...you don't seem to know how to open a door correctly. Push or pull, that is the question. 

 ...you go anywhere and order a coffee thinking you'll get a grande size and instead, receive a shot of espresso. 

...it snows 6-7 inches and the next day you still see girls wearing five inch high heels climbing through the mountains of snow or hobbling on sheets of ice. 

 ...you walk on the sidewalk only to be stopped by a car parked there. 

 
...banitsa is craved and tastes delicious any time of the day, especially after a really wild night of partying/ drinking (this is similar to the taco bell/Mexican runs made back in the States). 

 ...there is no Mexican or Chinese/Thai food to be found. Devastating I tell you, devastating! 

 ...food and hot drinks are served lukewarm. This is EVERYWHERE. Could be considered nice because then you can just dig in, but occasionally you just want that searing cup of coffee that burns your tongue, you know? 

 
 ...Tuesday nights are one of the big going out nights of the week (piano bar =drunk karaoke; awesomeness to its fullest.). Thirsty Thursday, I think not my friends. 

 ...you can go to a dinner with the US Consul from Sofia and it be completely "normal", especially when it's held in the cafe in the dormitory. 

 ...you walk to class and see the mountains or think about last night or what you plan to do for the next three remaining months of being here and think, "Dude, I'm in Bulgaria." 

Strikes and Gutterballs....Bulgaria Part Two

So, part two....and go. 

Well, I received a warm welcome on my first day at the university to a lady barging into my room, speaking fast Bulgarian which was then followed by a man who came to check the smoke detector. At least he said good morning. It was pointless going back to bed, so I got up and vacuumed which was great and disgusting all at the same time because it just is. My room, just to give you a view. You walk in and on the wall with the door is a bunk bed and next to that on the next wall is a desk, the door to the bathroom, and closets/ drawers. On the connecting wall are two huge windows with blinds (thank God) and a bed and then on the last wall are two desks and a closet. It's nothing special, three girls to a room, no big deal. But what I love is the bathroom. It's three rooms...yes, rooms... for the sink, toilet, and shower. I couldn't believe it when I walked in. There are about 6 light switches, which are huge, to light it all. But the shower is its own room; and it pours from the top so right over your head, not at a slant in the states. The water gets hot really fast and it's wonderful.

I went to lunch with the group from the van and then we walked around Blagoevgrad for a little bit and it was really great. Everyone is really nice so it was a fun group.  People on the streets don't smile and then give you the look-over when you do smile at them; it's hard but I'm working on that.  It was nice to see that I wasn't the only blond; there are some blond Bulgarian women and though I still stick out like an Eskimo in summer, it made me feel better. Blagoevgrad is really pretty in an old city kind of way. The buildings are somewhat old and dusty looking, and they are painted many colors that have faded, but it's just a really cute city; I'm looking forward to keep getting to know it. It's definitely bigger than Kirksville, that's for sure, but that's not too hard to accomplish.

We went on the first shopping trip for essentials at Kaufland, the new Walmart for the next four months. It was big and it went well but it was just different. Everything was in Bulgarian, obviously, and so finding things that looked familiar was interesting. Nonetheless, I did get everything I needed for a mere 66 leva. Cheap. I'm telling you people, it's a great vacation destination. So come visit me! 

Sabine's birthday was on Tuesday so Esra, Mary and I went out with her to the bowling center (though we didn't know that at the time) near the university's main building and had dinner. I swear I've had pasta every day since I've been here....I didn't know I was in Italy. It's good pasta though so I'm not complaining. I had this spinach pasta with a white cream sauce and it was really good. Ordering is sometimes a shoot in the dark but surprisingly a lot of restaurants have English menus so that is great. Anyway, had dinner, ordered cocktails (I had an orgasm- kahlua, bailey's, and cream or something of that variety) and started bowling. If you know me it takes me forever to actually warm up and this night was no exception. Three games of bowling- 6 leva. Legit. We had a great time bowling and I wasn't the worst one, although I did have my fair share of gutterballs.  Sabine was really good actually, I think she might get into professional bowling; okay...I doubt that, but she did really well. And it was a really fun time. 

After that we went back to Skapto and Esra surprised her with a caramel cake which was really good, pretty sweet so one piece was definitely enough. She had also bought party hats and they were the greatest because I think it said happy birthday on it in Bulgarian so that was fantastic. Afterward we just talked for a while and then hit the hay. I froze overnight because my heater isn't functioning properly so that has been great sleeping and waking up uber cold. Showers are the only way I'm not freezing to death in the morning. And there is some exaggeration in this so parents, don't freak out and call the university, I've asked them to look at it. I'll be fine. I like the cold anyway. It's just more of a hate-hate-ish relationship right now. It was a much better day than the hysterics I threw myself into on the first night with only Stainer and Kirk to comfort me. Oh well, it has gotten much better and I really do love it here.

I Was Almost Out of My League...Bulgaria Part One

Holy crap, I'm here. Well after not having internet for four days, of course them being when I first arrive, I have a book to write; so strap in because this is going to be a long ride for the both of us. Welcome to part one: the flight.

I left on Sunday around 11am and didn't get into Sofia until 130pm on Monday. The flights went really well; no glitches and they were on time with the exception of the hour wait on the Munich runway, but I was on the last flight so I didn't care at that point. And over the course of the travelling, I did 23 sudoku puzzles. A wonderful use of my time I think. But yeah, I got to the airport, had a surprisingly non-tearful goodbye with my parents (weird) and boarded the smallest plane I've ever been on. For real people, three seats with an overhead bin the size of a peanut. Come on. The flight was good and we got into Newark with no problems. I had some time to kill so I walked around in hopes of tiring myself out but I think I just looked crazy walking in circles, but whatever. There was another girl, Mary, from the program who was also flying to Munich so we met before the flight and it was nice to not be alone and there was of course that awkward meeting so I'm glad we got that over before actually getting to Sofia.

The transatlantic flight went well, considering it was my first. I had the pleasure of sitting by a Norwegian on a business trip who lived in New Jersey. He was really nice and gave me some tips for flying, such as I needed the two-pronged ear jack to hear the tv movie or to buckle your seat belt on the outside of the blanket when you sleep so if an attendant comes while you are actually sleeping they don't wake you. Stuff like that. It was pleasant and the food wasn't terrible either. Chicken and wild rice for dinner and a croissant for breakfast...not too shabby. I drank a lot of water which was good and bad and the bathrooms are about as big as a shoebox which was wonderful. And the need to pee came in waves for the plane in general because at certain times there would be a line and at others no one would be waiting. It's funny how our bodies sync like that.

I got to hang with Mary for a little bit in Munich and it was really great to have someone to talk to. She is pretty awesome and it was nice to know someone who was going to be there with me. The last flight, besides the wait, was short and sweet. They served this raisin bread which was tasty and strange because we always get pretzels; it was a nice change of pace. We landed, I got my suitcase and met the van driver from the university. We rode back with three dutch girls- Esra, Sabine, and Tessa- and two Americans like myself- Stephanie and Celeste. We actually had to turn around after 20 minutes of driving out of Sofia to return to the airport to pick up Celeste. During that ride we got to know the girls from Holland and they seemed really nice (which they are!) and it immediately raised my spirits about being here. The ride from Sofia to Blagoevgrad was beautiful. There was snow and gorgeous trees and mountains and it was just really nice, although the lulling of the ride didn't do anything for my fatigue and jetlag. 

We arrived at the university, finally (!!), and checked in at Skaptopara II, Skapto for short.  I'm going to be honest here, I was a little taken aback by the fact that the room was dirty. The floor was disgusting and I vacuumed the next morning, but it was not the greatest experience of my life. I explored my new home for the next four months. It was weird though because the room was basically empty so I kind of felt out of place because my roommates had reserved certain pieces of furniture. It was a little jolting but hey, this is what I signed up for so I can't really complain, but I just did, so...

I went to dinner, took a shower to wash away the traveling grime and then sat on the bottom bunk and stared at a picture Anna had given me and then I lost it. I cried. I don't know but it was just hard and at that point you just start questioning why you are even here. Which is what I did. And I just prayed really hard and journaled and it felt relieving to cry since I hadn't done it since finals week. After that there was only one thing to make me feel better: She's Out of My League. A piece of home and hilarity to help put me to bed on the first night on my Bulgarian excursion. What a two days. And that was just the first night. More to come....

Is it REALLY Christmas?

I love Christmas! It's my favorite time of the year, with snow (only it was not a white Christmas-what a bust) and non-stop holiday music, but the greatest thing about this season is the atmosphere. There is just something about it that makes me glow with happiness and I'm generally a happy person, but what is really cool is everyone else is really happy too. People pull together and there is a tangible camaraderie among everyone.  Who doesn't love seeing or feeling this? It's the tradition and fresh pine trees and baked goodies that you can't stop eating and family and Santa and stockings and sledding and warm fires and hot cocoa and bundling. Oh gosh, I'm just excited talking about it! 

Anyway, I reaped the mother load this year. I got a ton of stuff for my upcoming excursion to Bulgaria-a new travel backpack (!!!), a cocoon travel sheet, an inflatable pillow, a towel, a pack cover- and other things like a beautiful sweater that is super trendy (if you know my stepmom that explains a lot), Harry Potter parts 1 and 2, boots, wool socks, a bookmark (only a true bookworm would get excited about that), chocolates, a pencil case (also very excited about that), and a tea steeping mug which is awesome (my roomie would love this!). It was a crazy good Christmas with the presents and all. But that is not what made it great.

I have been home for a little over a week and I have had this time to spend with family and friends, like really good, quality time with the people who matter most. It started out with a book burning party for Jory's Spanish book, which I couldn't believe we actually did (we made s'mores from the fire). And then Ali B. (weird), Jory, and Shelby B. and I just sat around the table and talked for like a solid two hours about life and school and just random stuff. Then the next day I had the wonderful task of introducing them to AMC Mainstreet.  (Sidenote: If you haven't been, go. What are you waiting for? Jump in the car and drive now, but check time first and if you're under 21 make sure it's not Cinema Suites. It is the coolest theatre you'll ever go to. Especially the bathrooms and it may sound strange but for the people who have been there, you know what I'm talking about! So go, you'll be a new person walking out.[that might be a bit dramatic but still...])  Anyway, it was just really good to catch up with some really awesome friends I hadn't seen all semester.

Then I got to spend a day with Molley C. and that was so great. Just the fact that we've stayed good friends this long is amazing and a blessing. I then spent basically two whole days stamping cards; that's right people, I'm a stamper and I'm proud of it!  I would make my Aunt Sal proud.  I got to pick up my crazy brother from the airport and drove him home for the first time in a year. So nice to have him home, even if he is a butt sometimes. That night my friend Abbey was nice enough to invite me over and I got to hang out with her family and with Morgan and Molley S. and I caught up on their lives and the happenings of Platte City which I'm never up to date on.  Then a 7 hour trip to SD and here I am.  It's tradition and a wonderful transportation into the bliss of good food and even better company. 

I guess what I've learned over the past week and a few days is that it doesn't matter what I was doing or what I got as presents, it was who I was doing this stuff with or for. I have been more aware of what I truly have- good friends that are funny and honest and completely great in all their shenanigans, good family who is generous and loving and filled with laughter and stories, and good memories of times of sitting around the table talking or playing Taboo with my competitive family or getting to see 4 movies in 5 days. 

Because of the short time I have at home with them, it just makes all this time all that much sweeter- especially since my Uncle Steve is in the hospital and in critical condition, but he is stable right now thank God- and it has really made me think about what I have in front of me and the opportunity to seize it.  This spurs me to spend more time with them, trying to soak up all the familiarity that won't be there in two weeks. It's going to be a long, wonderful, beautifully difficult and rewarding road, these next six months, but i know with the family and friends and the God I have, there is no way I couldn't make it through. I am so thankful for what God gave me in community and why he would do that is beyond me but I'm not one to question the Big Man. I am just now learning what it means to TRULY appreciate what it means to have good encouragement...and it's not something I want to take for granted anymore. So in this time before New Year's, really evaluate what you have and be thankful. All else will fade and this will be the stuff left standing. 

You melt my heart, you really do. 

 Kelsey 

PS...I don't think this was much shorter than my other posts; sorry. But maybe not! 

Finals Fiasco

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes, fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will  be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." --Proverbs 3: 5-8 

Disclaimer: this is lengthy. I hope you have like twenty minutes. Sorry if you didn't want to know this much about my life, but it's my blog so I do what I want!

"Ok, we will try to start processing this as quickly as we can. Good luck in your studies." 

Finally. Those are the words I had been waiting to hear for the past three weeks. I am now officially going to study at Blagoevgrad next semester and it took me basically three months to know for sure; but I'm getting ahead of myself here. So let me start at the beginning. 

All of my problems, stresses, worries started with the FBI. You are told that it will take 8 weeks to process your background check, but of course nothing can be that simple. So Thanksgiving break came and went and the 8 week mark came and went with it, leaving me somewhat panicked and surly talking or thinking about it. So, the week before finals rolls around and I've called the FBI on a few occasions to check the status of it and after 9 1/2 weeks they tell me it's been sent, in the mail, to my house, and I am ecstatic! So, in the essence of time my parents and I decide that I need to go to Chicago on Thursday night and turn in my paperwork on Friday to start the processing. 

I am stressed out to the max, crying at any little thing (this study abroad has turned me into bumbling bawl-baby), and then my amazing friend Chubbs (Charysse, appropriately nicknamed that because she is a skinny Asian-and no I'm not racist; but she really just has chubby eyelids- apparently it's an Asian thing and this is coming from her not me!) So anyway, out of her huge heart said she would travel with me so I wouldn't be alone and thus started the nightmare of Thursday and Friday. Planning and getting everything together last minute and i was ready to go and then we wait...one o'clock...three o'clock and at this point I just want to give it up but my parents insist so I call the FBI back to get the tracking number and at like six o'clock we find out they ended up not sending it. Yep, the whole day of worrying and everything ended up not working out, at all! But that is just God's timing for ya. Friday I drove an hour and a half to get that stupid report from my amazing Dad and you want to know what it said:  Kelsey Jayne Boeding........NO ARREST RECORD! Whatever. Frustrating and somewhat laughable.

So, I had hall desk for six and a half hours Saturday and I was originally going to go on Sunday, spend the night and go to the Consulate on Monday. I was train traveling in practice for Europe and because it was more efficient and cheaper than driving. So I got to thinking and Kait Hall mentioned Quincy and a snowball formed from there. I looked at tickets, called Amtrak and changed my previously bought tickets and I was set to arrive and leave Chicago on Monday. I was super excited. And super scared. Big city, little me. Yep. But it turned out all great and dandy. I went to Christmas service on Sunday and was really happy to attend- I needed that spirit to lead me into finals. Sunday I didn't get as much done as I should have and I went to bed at 9, which is the first time in what felt like forever, or at least since some time in high school. And so the adventure began. 

I woke up at 3:15 and left Kirksville by 4am. Yep, 4 AM. Early. And I drove the hour and a half to Quincy, IL. It was exhilarating! I had my coffee and poptart and I was set. I got there, got my ticket, boarded the train and was off by 6:12. It had been dark for the three hours I'd been up and then God graced me with the prettiest sunrise I had ever seen; granted, I don't get up to see too many, but this one really topped anything I had seen before. It was blood red and a dark blue that melded in the middle and as the morning drew out it became lighter between the two colors until there was a vibrant, bright pink. Awesome. I was in awe and right then I was giddy in knowing the day would be a really good one. The train ride was uneventful and boring-mostly because I was studying for my comm final which I rocked by the way- and got into Chicago at 10:45. Took a taxi to the Consulate and immediately stepped into surrogate Bulgaria. Everyone there was Bulgarian-American and only spoke Bulgarian to the attendants. Yep, needless to say I was the odd ball out, especially when I was the only blond hair, blue eyed person in the whole office surrounded by brunettes. Imagine my shock and panic. 

I waited for about an hour or so before I actually saw the Consulate General and turned in my paperwork. After that, it took some time, but it hit me that I no longer had anything to wait for, nothing to hold me back from going. And that was scary and exciting and overwhelming. So now I was in this big city by myself and it was lunch time and I was starving. So naturally I went and got pizza from Giordano's. It. Was. Delicious! So good (I think the secret to it's awesomeness is the crust, I swear it!), so the other natural thing was to go to Garrett popcorn and continue the yumminess. So I did. And then treated myself to Starbucks. From there I walked around, a lot. I went to Millennium Park and took pictures of the Bean, like any good tourist would do. From there I went to Books-a-Million and browsed before heading to the train station and then back to Truman. Crazy day and that was only Monday of finals.  My sentiments exactly! 

Tuesday I had three essays and one test final, so that was a busy day. I also had hall desk which sucked and was great all at the same time. I was just so done with anything I had for all of those classes so I was like, whatever I'm done! But that wasn't the case. I still had a paper and two finals left. So the craziness finally ceased for a little bit and then my just amazingly sweet friends Miranda, Elizabeth, and Jac presented me with a scrapbook they had been working on for half the semester...HALF THE SEMESTER. Crazy and they managed to keep it from me the entire time; talent? I think yes! But it was wonderful and I have been blessed with them but it just truly showed how much they cared and in all my sappiness I love(d) it. It's nice to know, you know? It was wonderful just being able to hang with them and be crazy like we always are when we get together with our fake accents and movies and just good fellowship. 

Wednesday was equally amazing. I had Christmas with the best roommate ever. She truly is the greatest roommate ever and why God would grace me with her in my life is still mind-boggling but I'm not complaining. So we both woke up at what's considered early for Reading Day- 9:30- and watched the Solar Express, I mean Polar Express, while eating oatmeal. It was wonderful and so very Christmas-y. Afterward we opened gifts and played Christmas music and it was the best. I had lunch with Marika which was great and then I had to say goodbye to Britt which was heart wrenching and hard but really good. I studied some with Anna for Bus Law and then went to CCF and heard the seniors talk and it was just inspiring because they were leaving and I was leaving (them in a permanent way though) and it was just really comforting. 

Thursday I had my Bus Law final and it went well I think. I have no idea about the grade, and at this point I'm ok with that because it's over. I had lunch with Heather Redel and that was just great as usual. Special one she is and just really cool and I'm really excited to see what God does with her next semester and her adventure with St. Baldrick's. So cool. Got to see her and then went to meet Elizabeth in OP to hear her play the piano. And then just a slew of people came and it turned into a fun fest of great people and joking around and it is the little times like that throughout the week that God blessed me with to remember and cherish. After that I had (the never ending) hall desk and from there went to accountability where we talked about the semester and God's faithfulness, which was huge in so many ways the last 16 weeks. And then I proceeded to turn the water works to full blast and just weeped about being happy and sad and overjoyed and overwhelmed at having the opportunity to go to Bulgaria and at having to leave Truman behind, even though it is going to be here when I get back. After that I had dinner with Chubbs and then finished an essay, so as a reward I didn't study for my mythology final and watched She's Out of My League instead with Anna. Watch it if you haven't seen it. Do it now! But it's one of those things that Anna and I do together because it's just better that way. 

Friday was the grand finale. Well kind of, but without the bang, but it wasn't really a whimper either. Whatever, that probably doesn't even make sense. Anyway, Anna and I had our beds like a foot apart the entire semester and people would always ask if we held hands before going to bed and I am proud to say we did on our final night of being in the room together. We woke up at 5:30 AM and had Roommate Rosie's. And it was glorious! French toast, eggs, bacon, oatmeal, a cinnamon roll, oh gosh the spread was just magnificent! And delicious! So good and the conversation was good too. I took my final and was officially done with the semester which was amazing and a relief and then I started to pack. And then I got increasingly more somber. And then Anna checked me out and Elizabeth helped pack my car. And then Anna had her final so we had to say goodbye and I can honestly say that was one of the worst just for the fact that it is going to be so weird not being able to come back to the room and see her shining face next semester. But I'm not thinking about that too much, as you can tell. Ha. I'm so ridiculous sometimes. But I had lunch with Elizabeth and then said goodbye to her which was pretty bad too and then I pulled away and watched Truman fade away as I drove down 63 toward Kansas City. And just like that, with my entire life packed in my car basically, I headed home for my final three weeks before I leave. 

I am going to spare you the details of being home- just the norm with going to the movies and eating Happy Gillis and reading and hanging out with my parents who are great and sleeping in which is all so much needed. And if you've made it this far, you truly do love me, and you know what...I LOVE YOU TOO! So thanks and I'll try to do better so these things aren't so stinking long!