If I Had To, I Would Do It Again

At this moment, I wish everything would stop. Do you ever wish that? That things would come to a standstill and you could have time to process all that is happening to you? All the changes within you, all the changes around you, all the changes involving you? I do.

Disclaimer: this is a jumbled mess and probably isn't easily followable. So read on and bear with me; hopefully I got across the big points of what has been on my heart lately. 

I've been in Beirut for a month now and with only two weeks left, and only a month before I'm back home in the States, I am starting to feel every emotion. There is contentment, happiness, joy, loss, grief, reflection, longing, passion, love. Plus much more that I cannot even put into words; they sometimes jumble together, making them incoherent hybrids that make my heart contract and my mind fuzzy. All of this will lead to good in the end. I know it will, I just have to sort through all that has been going on inside me lately, which is not necessarily an easy task, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you. But you probably know that as well.

At my internship I am working primarily on the subject of education and technology. Separate and together, and what I find interesting, and it's a wonder why I never fully realized it before, is how fast the world is moving when it comes to using technology. As much as I loved living in Bulgaria, it sometimes felt like I was living 20 years ago, hence my lack of technological know-how (that and I'm not as tech savvy as others). Either way, it's amazing. There are apps for every little thing and iPads are now being used in classrooms and people are discussing how other technological functions are going to be implemented in the near future. And there are debates about what is right for the budget of spending on technology for schools and is using technology in the learning process a helpful, stimulating tool or is it a distracting thing that detracts from their work. Honestly, I don't know. I understand that we are in the time of Facebook and Apple, where everyone has a smartphone and you are out of date if you don't have one. When did the distinction between a cell phone and a smart phone come around? Call me old fashioned but good lord. Yes, we have the entire world at our fingertips, but do we have to use that privilege all the time, 24/7? And yes, I think it's a privilege. After a few months without a cell phone and spotty internet, you come to see it as a privilege. At least I do.

So with my head whirling from all the technology that I am surrounded by all day every day, I can only look back and remember when I was little and cell phones were big blocks of gray and black with super long antennas. I look back to when I played tag outside and I roller bladed around my neighborhood and jumped on the trampoline, seeing who could be the one to go highest. I remember playing in my grandparents' hay barn on The Farm, climbing and making up games with my brother and cousin. And as time kept ticking, it brought me to volleyball tournaments with crazy warm-up routines (you would think we were a pretty strange bunch if you saw us, but hey, it was a special thing between us). It brought me to driving and trying (and failing miserably) to parallel park. It brought me wonderful friends who I still learn from. And then time wore on, and took me by the hand and gave me college and beautiful friends who have touched my life in unimaginable ways. It lead me to my faith. It led me to study abroad.

Which gets me back to my original thought a long paragraph later. Sorry. I love technology. I do. I see all the benefits and the good advancements that are happening because of what it can do. I wouldn't be blogging and publishing my thoughts if there wasn't the Internet or Macbooks (I am an Apple person- commence the PC v. Macbook debate). I wouldn't have been able to share my photos of all my adventures this past year if there wasn't Facebook. I appreciate what technology can give to society, but I also see what it takes away from society. Little kids are more interested in playing racing car games than climbing trees and playing on their iPods instead of getting their knees dirty. It was great living without a cell phone in Blagoevgrad. It was freeing. But when I go home I'll be surrounded by people only on their smart phones. I won't be joining you friends. Where is the human contact? Where is the face to face conversations?

I want everything to stop. Have you ever seen Clockstopper? It was a pretty awful movie to be honest, but it was about this guy who had a watch who could stop time and rearrange situations. Now I don't wish to rearrange situations, but I do wish I could stop time, to have more time with the amazing friends I made in the Bulgs, to have more time to spend with my family here in the Lebs, and to have the ability- the freeness- to travel more and elongate my time abroad. I want to keep going to Piano Bar and eating banitsa, I want more conversations to get to know people better. I want to spend time with people I didn't spend near enough time with while in Blago.

My cousins' school had a festival called Vintage and I went with their cousin Soha. And she was so nice and accommodating and she let me hang out with her and her friends for the night. And as I was meeting these sweet girls, it reminded me of my friends and the great times we had together and for the night, I became an honorary alpha (they call themselves the alphas, which I love). It was a small gesture, but it was one that touched my heart. It's these little moments that I wish I could stop time in, the three hour conversations with my aunt, sitting outside on a blanket having a picnic outside Skapto 2 with people dropping by as they pass to the Balkanski Center. It's about how the little moments are strung together to make the bigger impact. That's all that really matters in the end. At least to me.

You know you LOVE Bulgaria when…

1.     you will miss Skappy’s ham and cheese toast.

2.     Blago knows you are leaving so he gives you a going away gift of spotty internet. I think he's really trying to get me outside to spend time with my people. 

3.     you will not miss seeing men coming out of the woodwork in track suits when the weather turns nice.  

4.     you go somewhere else and you say da for yes, despite being fully aware that that isn’t the way they say yes.

5.     you read signs in English and you start to see Cyrillic instead. H=N. P=R. Oh now I’m confused.

6.     you miss seeing stray dogs. Where did Horny go?! I can't find Jumper! I miss them!

7.     you go out to dinner and you don’t get your food at scattered times. What do you mean I don’t have to wait an hour after my companions are done eating to get my food? And, you can hear the person you are talking to. Hold on, I don’t have to shout anymore?

8.     you will miss getting banitsa at 3:30 am after a long night of partying at Underground or Piano Bar.

9.     you can actually watch tv without it being dubbed.

10.  the first thing you mention about missing the Bulgs is how cheap it was. A 2L Shumesko for 2,69 leva, yep, that’s real.

11. you can sit outside for 8 hours on a blanket with friends, having nap time and a picnic, only for it to become a party with cake and alcohol. It’s the good life.

I will miss you Blago, your beautifully luscious, green trees, your sunny afternoons, the sound of the rushing river as I walk back to the Skaptos, your Raffy’s ice cream stands, chocolate soufflé, kebabs and banitsa, Macarios futbol matches, Shumensko and Zagorka, Lollita, Underground, Piano Bar. I will miss you Blago, for you were the perfect place to spend four months getting to know crazy amazing people (I mean we all had to be a little crazy to come to Bulgaria in the first place), for teaching me about myself and my strengths and weaknesses, for showing me what the world is really like (at least some of it anyway) and for getting me out of my American bubble. Thank you Blago, for being nicknamed Blago. Thank you for being awesome.

Bulgaria, you captured my heart and gave me the semester of my life. You are a beautiful treasure the world holds and it is a pity more people don’t see the real you. Thank you for your lovely mountains and your cheapness and your nightlife and for AUBG and for bringing me new and fantastic friends that have forever touched my heart and made it light. To all who I spent the semester with, thank you for the good times, the great memories, and love I felt when I was with you. I wish you all the best of luck on your next adventures and remember, ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE! Remember the times we had and smile because they couldn’t have gotten any better! Nasdrave, my friends to one hell of a semester. We did it right.

Turks, Tea, and Tulips

My latest and greatest adventure, and sadly the last big trip of the semester, was a weekend jaunt to Istanbul, Turkey. There was a lot of hype leading up to the trip because some friends had gone the weekend before and the city did not fail. 

Gorgeous. Breathtaking. Incredible. Peaceful, even. How a city of 17 million people can be peaceful is beyond me, yet Istanbul achieved it. We only had three days in Istanbul so we made the most of it, staying in the city center called Sultanahmet. It was the hub of all young life, tourist sites, and hidden treasures. After living in Bulgaria where most things are different, I didn't think it would be too much of a shock going to the Middle East, especially considering I'm going to spend six weeks there with my aunt and uncle. It is unlike anything I've ever experienced. It was busy and quiet and a little overwhelming with all the men trying to stop me to sell me something or get me to come into their restaurant. It was mainly Keegan and I and we were not short on taking compliments. Everywhere we turned someone was there with a smile and a flattering remark. It was the hair. I'm telling you. See for yourself:

This is pre-windswept, according to Keegs

So here is my take on 5 things you should hit while on vaca in Istanbul. 

1.  Boat tour of the Bosphorus- my favorite part of the trip hands down. Especially when the weather is just fantastic, you can't help but enjoy the rocking boat, the blaring Turkish music (it really did help make the ride, trust me), and the amazing landscape laid out before you. This really gives you a perspective on how big and unique Istanbul really is.

2.  Galata Tower Cafe- undiscovered by most tourists (except now I guess, but I'm not too worried), it is found in Tacsim and very close to the actual Galata Tower, but with the same view (I'm all about the views in Istanbul), enjoy some apple tea and take in the breathtaking picture of both the European and Asian sides of Istanbul. On your way there, eat a fish sandwich from a rocking boat restaurant and enjoy the ever expanding view of the city as you cross the Galata Bridge.

3. Blue Mosque- seriously amazing piece of architecture and place of religious worship. Beautiful on the inside, they do close it for prayer in the middle of the day, but it is totally worth going back to see later to just sit and enjoy the intricate painting/script; you have to wear a headscarf if you're a woman and take off your shoes. I do look pretty stylish if I do say so myself. It's a great place to appreciate the religious history of the city itself (also the Hagia Sophia) and to have a quiet moment with God. Inspiring.

4.  Grand Bazaar- it's a great experience, at least once, to be hit on and is completely overwhelming for someone who doesn't shop a lot (aka me), but it was fun to look at all the evil eyes and gold jewelry and scarves.  And, because most shop owners think you're pretty, they'll give you a discount- it worked for me! 

5. Walk everywhere. Keegs and I did a ton of walking every day and it was great because we saw the tourist-y stuff that was near our hostel, the coast, Aksaray, and the non-tourist streets around these areas. It was really great to see how normal Turks live in a massive city and to get to experience places that most visitors don't venture to see. Just walk and explore- that is what traveling is all about right? Turn down a random side street and see where that'll lead you!

Other tidbits: Tea- Drink it. Period. Don't ask questions. If you don't like tea start to because you'll want to drink it while you're here. Especially the apple tea; even if it costs a few lira more, get it. It'll be worth it, most of the time. Get pides. It's reminiscent of an open calzone, but better.  Turkish delight and baklava are house specialties and quite delish and the great thing is you can find them anywhere.

It was the Tulip Festival while we were there so the city was littered with gorgeously vibrant flowers in celebration of the tulip. It's all month long and it adds a small town feel to this monstrous metropolitan. Imagine these, in different colors spotting Istanbul. Absolutely amazing. 

As the semester winds down, Istanbul was a great last traveling hoorah as I buckle down to finish essays and readings for class and start to study for finals. Nasdrave to the next two weeks, it's going to be a crazy, amazing ride. But I'll leave you with one last picture to tide you till next time. 

Sunburns and City Views

Right now I live in Bulgaria, in a city called Blagoevgrad, shortened to Blago. And while being here in the Balkans I've had time to travel some around the area and my latest adventure was to Athens, Greece. I know immediately what went through your mind: white houses with blue roofs and shutters and clear blue waters with ships docked at the port. While that would have been the most picturesque vacation ever, that's not how mine was. BUT IT'S GREECE! So adventure of a lifetime.

I was meeting a friend who I study with at Truman in Athens, Abbi, who is studying in Northern Ireland for the semester and it just so happened that we could be in the same place at the same time. I love it when that happens!

my travel buddies: Mary in the middle, Abbi on the right

Mary and I ventured down to Athens on a 10 hour bus through the entirety of Greece and while it was a nice bus, the sleep was less than adequate. Just know that, all you out there who are going to travel in the Balkans. Bus is way better than train- it's faster and still super cheap. So do it! But you can't get comfortable sleeping. As per usual, Mary and I had a really good talk on the way down, then navigated the metro with the help of a very nice lady who could see we were disoriented at 6:30 in the morning.

The first thing we saw was the Acropolis. Holy. Cow. It was gorgeous.

from the Acropolis

up close...isn't it a beaut?!

I love history and the US doesn't really have history, not like the rest of the world. So being around ancient ruins was just fantastic- all weekend it was just amazing sight after amazing sight: Acropolis, Parthenon, Temple of Zeus, the Olympic Stadium, the beach!  I won't bore you with the details of how I finally got to see someone from home, that we had gelato twice a day, that we got soaked trying to get gelato before we left, that we wound through the crooked streets, and got to enjoy the beautiful sunshine.

The conditions were that of a perfect weekend. 23 C (70s F) and breezy. We just explored the Plaka district where we were staying and I fell in love instantly. Oh man. It was just a great time. We did all the tourist-y things that you are expected to do and we definitely had a good time doing it. One of my favorite moments was one night, after going to Palm Sunday Mass (they run on Orthodox Easter which runs a week behind Roman Catholic holidays and services) we decided to climb this hill that had a church on top. It looked really high and so as we started on a walking path up the side we were second guessing ourselves. But that doubt was wiped away by the sight that awaited us at the top. It was Athens in all its glory, glowing a light phosphorescent white as we took in the city by night. It was magical. And some random Korean kid asked to take a picture with us. I don't know why.

We also went to the beach and that was amazing. The sun was so warm and though I'm the kind of person who would rather be cold than hot, I could even appreciate it. We laid out on a pretty chill beach, the only distractions being old leathery men in speedos and one grandma who liked to let it all hang out, if you know what I mean. Soaking up all that vitamin D was wonderful...until we all got burnt. Me most of all. My back got really burnt and my legs too. But that didn't deter me from continuing the adventure; we had a great time even after all of that. Now that I am back I look really tan so I can only hope that some time spent on the Mediterranean in Lebanon will give the same results. I'll come back lookin' black! Ha. If only, right?

Our last day was rainy and we spent it going to Corinth. It was a beautiful bus ride and Corinth itself was really great. Just being where Paul preached and thinking about that was one of the coolest things of the whole trip.  The beach, also, was just incredible. I mean look at it! It was a little stormy and rained some while we were there, but we had brought a picnic of Greek bread and we stopped into this small cheese shop once we arrived and had a cute little exchange with the Greek lady who gave us some delicious white Greek cheese. Oh it was good. We ended up eating it in the bus station, but afterward we enjoyed this:

yep, I was really here.

I know, I know. B-E-A-Utiful! And we finished the day with gelato before leaving. That is when we got soaked by the flash flood in Athens. No worries though....we got our gelato! And it was yummy, like the other six times we'd had it!

As the bus pulled out from Athens and Mary and I settled into our seats, we looked back on the really awesome time we had in Greece with Abbi and the memories made and the friends met and the gelato eaten. I'm not sure I would have wanted to do this trip with anyone besides these two. They made it great. And though I am still recovering from getting in at 5:15am on Tuesday, I look forward to the next adventure: Budapest part one: Friends. Cheers.

Sangria, Sofia, and some life lessons

It's raining here in Blagoevgrad and it seems that the weather has turned to nastiness. It snowed over the weekend while I was in Sofia, which I'll get to in a second. One of the main points of studying abroad is to meet people and make connections all over the world. Which definitely does happen and that is what set the stage for the sangria party I went to, put on by some of the Spaniards here; they are super nice and definitely know how to party and definitely know how to make good, strong sangria. So drinking starts about 9-10 here in preparation for going out around midnight. The party was really great and I mingled and had a drink or two, got tipsy so slowed down on the drinking even though it was quite tasty. But it was nice to meet new people and be a little crazy with friends that I already knew that were there. Let's just say that a conversation did happen in a British and Indian (not Native American) accent; and yes, I was sober, I just think it's fun to talk like this and for the people who know me they will back me up on this.

I don't drink ever at home so when I had a friend get a little to friendly with the sangria and had to help them home, it was definitely a new experience. They, like me, don't drink a lot and so I learned quite a bit from Keegan, who is in a sorority back home and for sure knows what she is doing when it comes to the protocol of taking a friend home. It was good so if you ever need me when we get home, I will be equipped with my new mastery of the art of designated walking and home care. So life lesson number one is a handy thing to have in my pocket in case the situation ever arises again. But just don't get that far people, it's not cool and you aren't fun and it kills the mood for everyone else. Drink to be social, not to get drunk. That is one thing about here, people know how to hold their liquor because they have been drinking for so much longer than us in the States...maybe we should take note America?

I also went to Sofia with a group of girls that I've been hanging out with. We left on a snowy morning and arrived in Sofia around noon and then that is where some of the problems started. We had 7 people so that was problem number one. We had booked the Art Hostel, which is really cool so if you ever want to visit Sofia and are looking for hostels check this one out (it comes with a bar and breakfast is included), we just needed to get there, which leads to problem number 2. Too many people were trying to figure out how to find the hostel and I was just like whatever floats the boat people, I'll follow on this one. So we eventually found it and checked in to our room and please people, book before you go. It just makes things that much easier. Spontaneity is wonderful, but have some of the logistics worked out.

                                             bar downstairs

                                                       the beds...and my awesome friends

We went to this Moroccan restaurant a block over and it was delicious! Eat like the Moroccans do because it was so good. Especially the tea. Even if you don't like tea, you would like this tea.

So that was good and having full bellies for 7 girls is a very smart move. Then, shopping. If you know me, they will all tell you my attention span for shopping is about 2 seconds before I get bored so trying to find the mall was a hassle, to be honest. So, if you want to see something specific, find directions beforehand; either do it yourself or ask your hostel about it. That was problem number three. So after no luck trying to find a taxi I suggested changing the plans and staying in the neighborhood to shop, which turned out great. Zara was close so we went there and because there were 7 people, we split and did our own thing for the afternoon which worked out wonderfully. If need be, split up, that way people can do what they want instead of targeting certain people and the others having a crappy time because they are pouting about not doing what they want. Solution.

My friend Mary is Catholic and Sofia happens to be one of the only places that has a Catholic church, and though I'm not Catholic I did need some quiet time and gladly went to mass; it was a really nice excuse to get away from the "real world" and just sit and pray and slow down from the two weeks of being here. It was refreshing and calming and just completely what I needed to refocus on what I was doing and why I am here and how I am treating and acting around people. It was a nice slap of reality, something that has been hard to come by here because everything has been distorted, especially time. A thing about study abroad, time drags and moves really quickly all at the same time. You are stuck in time, which you always are, it just seems more noticeable here rather than back home. So keep that in mind too.

The weekend ended well except I am just tired of bad Internet. Sometimes being cut off from the things that you thought you needed are really just an excuse that keeps you from other really amazing things. But it was good catch up with some friends I hadn't talked to in a while, but at the same time I hate that Facebook is the only real way of communicating with people. Oh, the things our society has come to. But that is life, and I keep learning something new every day, which is the point, right? Because why then would I be half way across the world if I could just discover all this stuff at home? So get out and explore, even if it's just your backyard, because chances are you will find something totally new and unexpected, either about yourself or your surroundings or your friends, and those are the things really worth living for. Study abroad, experience all that God put out there for us to see, and then be amazed at the fact that He put this all here for us. Love.

Strikes and Gutterballs....Bulgaria Part Two

So, part two....and go. 

Well, I received a warm welcome on my first day at the university to a lady barging into my room, speaking fast Bulgarian which was then followed by a man who came to check the smoke detector. At least he said good morning. It was pointless going back to bed, so I got up and vacuumed which was great and disgusting all at the same time because it just is. My room, just to give you a view. You walk in and on the wall with the door is a bunk bed and next to that on the next wall is a desk, the door to the bathroom, and closets/ drawers. On the connecting wall are two huge windows with blinds (thank God) and a bed and then on the last wall are two desks and a closet. It's nothing special, three girls to a room, no big deal. But what I love is the bathroom. It's three rooms...yes, rooms... for the sink, toilet, and shower. I couldn't believe it when I walked in. There are about 6 light switches, which are huge, to light it all. But the shower is its own room; and it pours from the top so right over your head, not at a slant in the states. The water gets hot really fast and it's wonderful.

I went to lunch with the group from the van and then we walked around Blagoevgrad for a little bit and it was really great. Everyone is really nice so it was a fun group.  People on the streets don't smile and then give you the look-over when you do smile at them; it's hard but I'm working on that.  It was nice to see that I wasn't the only blond; there are some blond Bulgarian women and though I still stick out like an Eskimo in summer, it made me feel better. Blagoevgrad is really pretty in an old city kind of way. The buildings are somewhat old and dusty looking, and they are painted many colors that have faded, but it's just a really cute city; I'm looking forward to keep getting to know it. It's definitely bigger than Kirksville, that's for sure, but that's not too hard to accomplish.

We went on the first shopping trip for essentials at Kaufland, the new Walmart for the next four months. It was big and it went well but it was just different. Everything was in Bulgarian, obviously, and so finding things that looked familiar was interesting. Nonetheless, I did get everything I needed for a mere 66 leva. Cheap. I'm telling you people, it's a great vacation destination. So come visit me! 

Sabine's birthday was on Tuesday so Esra, Mary and I went out with her to the bowling center (though we didn't know that at the time) near the university's main building and had dinner. I swear I've had pasta every day since I've been here....I didn't know I was in Italy. It's good pasta though so I'm not complaining. I had this spinach pasta with a white cream sauce and it was really good. Ordering is sometimes a shoot in the dark but surprisingly a lot of restaurants have English menus so that is great. Anyway, had dinner, ordered cocktails (I had an orgasm- kahlua, bailey's, and cream or something of that variety) and started bowling. If you know me it takes me forever to actually warm up and this night was no exception. Three games of bowling- 6 leva. Legit. We had a great time bowling and I wasn't the worst one, although I did have my fair share of gutterballs.  Sabine was really good actually, I think she might get into professional bowling; okay...I doubt that, but she did really well. And it was a really fun time. 

After that we went back to Skapto and Esra surprised her with a caramel cake which was really good, pretty sweet so one piece was definitely enough. She had also bought party hats and they were the greatest because I think it said happy birthday on it in Bulgarian so that was fantastic. Afterward we just talked for a while and then hit the hay. I froze overnight because my heater isn't functioning properly so that has been great sleeping and waking up uber cold. Showers are the only way I'm not freezing to death in the morning. And there is some exaggeration in this so parents, don't freak out and call the university, I've asked them to look at it. I'll be fine. I like the cold anyway. It's just more of a hate-hate-ish relationship right now. It was a much better day than the hysterics I threw myself into on the first night with only Stainer and Kirk to comfort me. Oh well, it has gotten much better and I really do love it here.

What the FBI?

Hi friends. So, as most of you know I'm studying abroad next semester in Blagoevgrad, Bulgaria at the American University and I know I'm not the best at keeping up with things like journaling or just communicating in general (if you know me well you're probably shaking your head in agreement and muttering some comment about the fact I answer your texts four hours after you send them...sorry) so I thought I would try to get on that now. 

If you've talked to me at all lately I've been talking non-stop about preparations. The first three questions I always get: one, where are you going? Bulgaria (duh!), two, what language do they speak? Bulgarian, kind of obvious but I understand it's a relatively unknown country to us Americans, and three, do you speak Bulgarian? No, but I'm trying to learn simple phrases. Funny story, at least to me. Over Thanksgiving break my cousin Jaime was looking online at Google translate and she typed in something and I wasn't paying too close attention but when I did glance over she had put in "help me". I just laughed because really, what else are you supposed to do?

Anyway, the one HUGE thing I'm still waiting on in this whole process, and the most important, is my visa. Now, the Bulgarians like to make things complicated so I had to start two months ago and they told me it would be a close call at the end, but I don't like it. Not one bit. So I thought that getting everything else together was a hassle but the one thing holding me back, you guessed it: the FBI. 

Granted, it is the government and it normally takes some time to get documents like that, but really, eight weeks on a background check. I know my juvie record isn't the greatest but it shouldn't take that long. And I'm just kidding about the whole wild child rebel-not truly me, I'm squeaky clean, like squeaky clean. So when I know it's just going to come back saying no record, it's a little frustrating that it is taking so long. I leave January 8th, my ticket is bought, I have my list of things to buy and what to take (I'm going to try to shove all my stuff into one suitcase...yeah, I know I'm thinking the same thing), but I can't go unless I have that little paper or stamp in my passport. So FBI, what's the deal here? But seeing as there is nothing I can do I just pray that God will deliver my background check. I mean, it's not like you can just call up the FBI (although I did call them to check my status- not the nicest lady I've ever talked to) and demand them to process your background faster. So keep that in mind if ever you have to go through this. I feel you.


Advice: get your visa ASAP. and don't forget your passport because you need copies for everything you turn in so get it if you know you're applying. Don't take forever on collecting all the paperwork and if you do have to get a background check- which normally isn't part of the process- get that in immediately. I don't think I can stress that enough. I can guarantee you, as I am experiencing it now, that it will take the longest of all the paperwork to get here. And when you have to go to Chicago to hand in the paperwork yourself, you would rather not wait until the last minute to make that trip. 

As my roommate Anna would say, peace and blessin's.

Kelsey