If I Had To, I Would Do It Again

At this moment, I wish everything would stop. Do you ever wish that? That things would come to a standstill and you could have time to process all that is happening to you? All the changes within you, all the changes around you, all the changes involving you? I do.

Disclaimer: this is a jumbled mess and probably isn't easily followable. So read on and bear with me; hopefully I got across the big points of what has been on my heart lately. 

I've been in Beirut for a month now and with only two weeks left, and only a month before I'm back home in the States, I am starting to feel every emotion. There is contentment, happiness, joy, loss, grief, reflection, longing, passion, love. Plus much more that I cannot even put into words; they sometimes jumble together, making them incoherent hybrids that make my heart contract and my mind fuzzy. All of this will lead to good in the end. I know it will, I just have to sort through all that has been going on inside me lately, which is not necessarily an easy task, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you. But you probably know that as well.

At my internship I am working primarily on the subject of education and technology. Separate and together, and what I find interesting, and it's a wonder why I never fully realized it before, is how fast the world is moving when it comes to using technology. As much as I loved living in Bulgaria, it sometimes felt like I was living 20 years ago, hence my lack of technological know-how (that and I'm not as tech savvy as others). Either way, it's amazing. There are apps for every little thing and iPads are now being used in classrooms and people are discussing how other technological functions are going to be implemented in the near future. And there are debates about what is right for the budget of spending on technology for schools and is using technology in the learning process a helpful, stimulating tool or is it a distracting thing that detracts from their work. Honestly, I don't know. I understand that we are in the time of Facebook and Apple, where everyone has a smartphone and you are out of date if you don't have one. When did the distinction between a cell phone and a smart phone come around? Call me old fashioned but good lord. Yes, we have the entire world at our fingertips, but do we have to use that privilege all the time, 24/7? And yes, I think it's a privilege. After a few months without a cell phone and spotty internet, you come to see it as a privilege. At least I do.

So with my head whirling from all the technology that I am surrounded by all day every day, I can only look back and remember when I was little and cell phones were big blocks of gray and black with super long antennas. I look back to when I played tag outside and I roller bladed around my neighborhood and jumped on the trampoline, seeing who could be the one to go highest. I remember playing in my grandparents' hay barn on The Farm, climbing and making up games with my brother and cousin. And as time kept ticking, it brought me to volleyball tournaments with crazy warm-up routines (you would think we were a pretty strange bunch if you saw us, but hey, it was a special thing between us). It brought me to driving and trying (and failing miserably) to parallel park. It brought me wonderful friends who I still learn from. And then time wore on, and took me by the hand and gave me college and beautiful friends who have touched my life in unimaginable ways. It lead me to my faith. It led me to study abroad.

Which gets me back to my original thought a long paragraph later. Sorry. I love technology. I do. I see all the benefits and the good advancements that are happening because of what it can do. I wouldn't be blogging and publishing my thoughts if there wasn't the Internet or Macbooks (I am an Apple person- commence the PC v. Macbook debate). I wouldn't have been able to share my photos of all my adventures this past year if there wasn't Facebook. I appreciate what technology can give to society, but I also see what it takes away from society. Little kids are more interested in playing racing car games than climbing trees and playing on their iPods instead of getting their knees dirty. It was great living without a cell phone in Blagoevgrad. It was freeing. But when I go home I'll be surrounded by people only on their smart phones. I won't be joining you friends. Where is the human contact? Where is the face to face conversations?

I want everything to stop. Have you ever seen Clockstopper? It was a pretty awful movie to be honest, but it was about this guy who had a watch who could stop time and rearrange situations. Now I don't wish to rearrange situations, but I do wish I could stop time, to have more time with the amazing friends I made in the Bulgs, to have more time to spend with my family here in the Lebs, and to have the ability- the freeness- to travel more and elongate my time abroad. I want to keep going to Piano Bar and eating banitsa, I want more conversations to get to know people better. I want to spend time with people I didn't spend near enough time with while in Blago.

My cousins' school had a festival called Vintage and I went with their cousin Soha. And she was so nice and accommodating and she let me hang out with her and her friends for the night. And as I was meeting these sweet girls, it reminded me of my friends and the great times we had together and for the night, I became an honorary alpha (they call themselves the alphas, which I love). It was a small gesture, but it was one that touched my heart. It's these little moments that I wish I could stop time in, the three hour conversations with my aunt, sitting outside on a blanket having a picnic outside Skapto 2 with people dropping by as they pass to the Balkanski Center. It's about how the little moments are strung together to make the bigger impact. That's all that really matters in the end. At least to me.

Ce-dars the way of life

So there has been quite the press attention for Lebanon lately. "Clashes in Beirut" and "Lebanese pilgrims kidnapped in Syria", etc. So really, to the world, it looks like a disaster and it seems as if the fighting that is going on is right outside my doorstep. The world media has a way of twisting the story, as they do with many other subjects and places. Yes, there was protesting in Beirut over the last few days because of things (in)directly related to Syria, but the thing the world doesn't understand is that the fighting isn't happening everywhere. I am not sure if that is comforting to know or not, but that is how it is. Not everywhere is violent with deadly intentions. Daily life goes on just as it does at home or in Europe. We go to work and we go home and people are still seen walking around outside, the traffic just becomes a lot lighter the day after. 

This is a beautiful country with wonderful people and a wonderful culture. People are quick to judge this region when they haven't experienced what it has to offer. I have only been here a little over two weeks, but this is an extraordinary place. I went to the Cedars of Lebanon and it was breathtaking. The drive was two hours through mountains speckled with green and orange tiled roofs and deep gorges and valleys that steeped so low you could hardly see the bottom.  The Cedars themselves are so majestic and peaceful. I haven't seen anything like it in my life.

The other really big adventure I've taken since I've been here has been to Harissa, the Virgin Lady of Lebanon. On top of a hill overlooking the entirety of Beirut, you can't help but appreciate what this small country has to offer. You have beautiful huge trees that lead to the city and then beyond is the sea. Gorgeous blues and greens as you gaze below you, taking in this amazingly unique city.

Beirut has everything to offer. They get all types of American brands, like Heinz and Cheetos and McD's, and they have all kinds of shopping with H&M, Mango, Promod, and they have absolutely delicious local foods that I am still learning how to pronounce; good thing I have family tour guides! Lebanon, and Beirut more specifically, is a misunderstood place that deserves more respect for its way of life. Not everyone here is looking for a fight, although the honking in traffic might suggest otherwise. Yet, this is all part of the charm of Beirut. It is a culture that has a lot to offer and teach the world, I just wished more people wanted to know it better. 

I was just in Bulgaria and I learned a lot about living there and what they consider important and how their culture operates. They are still getting over their post-communism ways after decades of being caught in a puppet act, and people are very serious and outwardly reserved. They like to drink a lot and love to people watch in the middle of the day at cafes. The food everywhere is mainly the same options and after a while you just rely on ham and cheese toast to get you through life (well that is what I did at the end of the semester, partially because I knew I wouldn't be getting it again, even though it's a panini-ed ham and cheese. Nostalgia was kicking in, alright?!). Lebanon is completely different and I am still getting used to the generosity and friendliness of everyone here, and I am learning that they love family and huge get togethers and being loud and having fun. It's inherent here, which is something I am coming to love more and more each day. The food is delectable and healthy and there are so many certain Lebanese dishes that I have tried and still need to try. 

Life is about experiencing the world God gave us and taking what you learn and using that in your life. Learning certain things more fully from different people and different cultures and becoming a meld of all that you have been through. I guarantee that you will come away changed forever. How could you not? The best advice I could give from all that I have seen and experienced is to be open. Don't close yourself to a custom because you haven't done it before. Be open to new perspectives in the people you meet because chances are you will come across something extraordinary. Always try something at least once, that way if you don't like it, you know you don't like it instead of just snubbing your nose at it. Plus, the people you are with will appreciate your enthusiasm and desire to get to know their culture.

It's hard to step outside the box that you have gotten yourself into, but do it. Take the risk. No souvenir could possibly impact you more than getting out and doing it yourself. The memories you'll gain and the friendships made will make your life that much richer and more meaningful. I watched the movie the Way, about a father who walks the Camino de Santiago in Spain after his son died starting it. In a scene where the father is taking his son to the airport, he says, "It may not seem like much but this is the life I've chosen," and his son replies, "You don't choose a life. You live one."  Go, live life, and appreciate whatever comes your way, good or bad, because in the end, it makes you who you are.

You know you're in Beirut when...

So if you haven't noticed, the title of my blog has changed because I am no longer in Eastern Europe enjoying my surrogate home, but have now ventured to a new, exciting and completely different place: Beirut, Lebanon.  I am staying with family and while I've only been here roughly five days, here are some observations:

1.  the Lebanese are very hospitable. Whether it's food, a drink, a bed, or just a warm welcome, they are willing to give you the shirt off their back if that is what it takes to make you comfortable.

2.  it's smoggy.  It gives San Fran a run for its money except it's pollution and not just fog.

3.  driving is ridiculous. Only the brave venture out and even then it's scary to ride; it's a LOT of honking, cutting people off, getting inches away from each other, not following lines, running red lights. It makes for a racing heart and a thank you to the Lord for getting me to point B safely. (parents, it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be...).

4.  the food is delicious and above all, healthy. I eat veggies and fruit everyday and the meals are really nice. The lunch eating time is similar to that of the Spanish, especially on weekends.

5.  it feels as though everyone knows how to speak French, Arabic, and English and when talking they use them interchangeably, so in a two sentence span you could possibly hear three languages. It puts my lousy English to shame. I really need to get on this language learning thing real quick.

6.  they call light brown hair blond. It's a cultural thing, but light brown is still brown. I would know what blond is; the stares say it all. 

7.  plans are kind of sporadic and made on the fly, which fits me perfectly because I tend to just go with the flow. And it's similar to in the Bulgs in that people are fashionably late (that's what we will call it).  

You know you LOVE Bulgaria when…

1.     you will miss Skappy’s ham and cheese toast.

2.     Blago knows you are leaving so he gives you a going away gift of spotty internet. I think he's really trying to get me outside to spend time with my people. 

3.     you will not miss seeing men coming out of the woodwork in track suits when the weather turns nice.  

4.     you go somewhere else and you say da for yes, despite being fully aware that that isn’t the way they say yes.

5.     you read signs in English and you start to see Cyrillic instead. H=N. P=R. Oh now I’m confused.

6.     you miss seeing stray dogs. Where did Horny go?! I can't find Jumper! I miss them!

7.     you go out to dinner and you don’t get your food at scattered times. What do you mean I don’t have to wait an hour after my companions are done eating to get my food? And, you can hear the person you are talking to. Hold on, I don’t have to shout anymore?

8.     you will miss getting banitsa at 3:30 am after a long night of partying at Underground or Piano Bar.

9.     you can actually watch tv without it being dubbed.

10.  the first thing you mention about missing the Bulgs is how cheap it was. A 2L Shumesko for 2,69 leva, yep, that’s real.

11. you can sit outside for 8 hours on a blanket with friends, having nap time and a picnic, only for it to become a party with cake and alcohol. It’s the good life.

I will miss you Blago, your beautifully luscious, green trees, your sunny afternoons, the sound of the rushing river as I walk back to the Skaptos, your Raffy’s ice cream stands, chocolate soufflé, kebabs and banitsa, Macarios futbol matches, Shumensko and Zagorka, Lollita, Underground, Piano Bar. I will miss you Blago, for you were the perfect place to spend four months getting to know crazy amazing people (I mean we all had to be a little crazy to come to Bulgaria in the first place), for teaching me about myself and my strengths and weaknesses, for showing me what the world is really like (at least some of it anyway) and for getting me out of my American bubble. Thank you Blago, for being nicknamed Blago. Thank you for being awesome.

Bulgaria, you captured my heart and gave me the semester of my life. You are a beautiful treasure the world holds and it is a pity more people don’t see the real you. Thank you for your lovely mountains and your cheapness and your nightlife and for AUBG and for bringing me new and fantastic friends that have forever touched my heart and made it light. To all who I spent the semester with, thank you for the good times, the great memories, and love I felt when I was with you. I wish you all the best of luck on your next adventures and remember, ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE! Remember the times we had and smile because they couldn’t have gotten any better! Nasdrave, my friends to one hell of a semester. We did it right.

(Not so) Finally Finals

It's finals week. The week we all dread yet all love because it's the means to the end. After 15 weeks of classes, it all comes down to the last test, paper, or project to be completed before you are free for the glories of summer.  The weather is a siren, tempting you away from books and laptops to blankets on the grass and ice cream strolls. Instead though, you look out the window, hating yourself for studying instead of enjoying the goodness that Mother Nature has finally graced you with.  But this finals week is a little different, more bittersweet than the ones I've experienced in the past. It's my last week as an exchange student. And it's my last week with these people.

It makes me sad and if my friends knew I was writing this they would not be happy with me. We all live in denial at the moment, ignoring the fact that by the end of the week we will have to say see-you-laters (goodbyes have such a finality to them) and give last hugs before departing our separate ways. It looms above us, threatening to rain on our parade and yet, we have pulled out our umbrellas and wait for the downpour that will eventually, or very shortly, ensue. But I like rain. And I like playing in the rain and watching its beauty as the drops hit and make everything sparkly. There's a refreshing sense to the feeling of rain. 

So this is how I choose to look on this last week here in Blago (I decided this as I was writing this sentence).  We are going to give these last three days hell as we celebrate and enjoy our last days together. And as we part ways on Saturday I will look back, probably with glassy eyes and tear streaked cheeks, at all the things I learned and experienced and saw. But most of all, I will remember the fantastic times I spent with some really amazing friends (who I will love forever) and I will smile, because I am better for knowing them and blessed to have had them as companions through this journey here in Bulgaria. 

And the countdown continues... 

(more sap to come later)

Turks, Tea, and Tulips

My latest and greatest adventure, and sadly the last big trip of the semester, was a weekend jaunt to Istanbul, Turkey. There was a lot of hype leading up to the trip because some friends had gone the weekend before and the city did not fail. 

Gorgeous. Breathtaking. Incredible. Peaceful, even. How a city of 17 million people can be peaceful is beyond me, yet Istanbul achieved it. We only had three days in Istanbul so we made the most of it, staying in the city center called Sultanahmet. It was the hub of all young life, tourist sites, and hidden treasures. After living in Bulgaria where most things are different, I didn't think it would be too much of a shock going to the Middle East, especially considering I'm going to spend six weeks there with my aunt and uncle. It is unlike anything I've ever experienced. It was busy and quiet and a little overwhelming with all the men trying to stop me to sell me something or get me to come into their restaurant. It was mainly Keegan and I and we were not short on taking compliments. Everywhere we turned someone was there with a smile and a flattering remark. It was the hair. I'm telling you. See for yourself:

This is pre-windswept, according to Keegs

So here is my take on 5 things you should hit while on vaca in Istanbul. 

1.  Boat tour of the Bosphorus- my favorite part of the trip hands down. Especially when the weather is just fantastic, you can't help but enjoy the rocking boat, the blaring Turkish music (it really did help make the ride, trust me), and the amazing landscape laid out before you. This really gives you a perspective on how big and unique Istanbul really is.

2.  Galata Tower Cafe- undiscovered by most tourists (except now I guess, but I'm not too worried), it is found in Tacsim and very close to the actual Galata Tower, but with the same view (I'm all about the views in Istanbul), enjoy some apple tea and take in the breathtaking picture of both the European and Asian sides of Istanbul. On your way there, eat a fish sandwich from a rocking boat restaurant and enjoy the ever expanding view of the city as you cross the Galata Bridge.

3. Blue Mosque- seriously amazing piece of architecture and place of religious worship. Beautiful on the inside, they do close it for prayer in the middle of the day, but it is totally worth going back to see later to just sit and enjoy the intricate painting/script; you have to wear a headscarf if you're a woman and take off your shoes. I do look pretty stylish if I do say so myself. It's a great place to appreciate the religious history of the city itself (also the Hagia Sophia) and to have a quiet moment with God. Inspiring.

4.  Grand Bazaar- it's a great experience, at least once, to be hit on and is completely overwhelming for someone who doesn't shop a lot (aka me), but it was fun to look at all the evil eyes and gold jewelry and scarves.  And, because most shop owners think you're pretty, they'll give you a discount- it worked for me! 

5. Walk everywhere. Keegs and I did a ton of walking every day and it was great because we saw the tourist-y stuff that was near our hostel, the coast, Aksaray, and the non-tourist streets around these areas. It was really great to see how normal Turks live in a massive city and to get to experience places that most visitors don't venture to see. Just walk and explore- that is what traveling is all about right? Turn down a random side street and see where that'll lead you!

Other tidbits: Tea- Drink it. Period. Don't ask questions. If you don't like tea start to because you'll want to drink it while you're here. Especially the apple tea; even if it costs a few lira more, get it. It'll be worth it, most of the time. Get pides. It's reminiscent of an open calzone, but better.  Turkish delight and baklava are house specialties and quite delish and the great thing is you can find them anywhere.

It was the Tulip Festival while we were there so the city was littered with gorgeously vibrant flowers in celebration of the tulip. It's all month long and it adds a small town feel to this monstrous metropolitan. Imagine these, in different colors spotting Istanbul. Absolutely amazing. 

As the semester winds down, Istanbul was a great last traveling hoorah as I buckle down to finish essays and readings for class and start to study for finals. Nasdrave to the next two weeks, it's going to be a crazy, amazing ride. But I'll leave you with one last picture to tide you till next time. 

Sunburns and City Views

Right now I live in Bulgaria, in a city called Blagoevgrad, shortened to Blago. And while being here in the Balkans I've had time to travel some around the area and my latest adventure was to Athens, Greece. I know immediately what went through your mind: white houses with blue roofs and shutters and clear blue waters with ships docked at the port. While that would have been the most picturesque vacation ever, that's not how mine was. BUT IT'S GREECE! So adventure of a lifetime.

I was meeting a friend who I study with at Truman in Athens, Abbi, who is studying in Northern Ireland for the semester and it just so happened that we could be in the same place at the same time. I love it when that happens!

my travel buddies: Mary in the middle, Abbi on the right

Mary and I ventured down to Athens on a 10 hour bus through the entirety of Greece and while it was a nice bus, the sleep was less than adequate. Just know that, all you out there who are going to travel in the Balkans. Bus is way better than train- it's faster and still super cheap. So do it! But you can't get comfortable sleeping. As per usual, Mary and I had a really good talk on the way down, then navigated the metro with the help of a very nice lady who could see we were disoriented at 6:30 in the morning.

The first thing we saw was the Acropolis. Holy. Cow. It was gorgeous.

from the Acropolis

up close...isn't it a beaut?!

I love history and the US doesn't really have history, not like the rest of the world. So being around ancient ruins was just fantastic- all weekend it was just amazing sight after amazing sight: Acropolis, Parthenon, Temple of Zeus, the Olympic Stadium, the beach!  I won't bore you with the details of how I finally got to see someone from home, that we had gelato twice a day, that we got soaked trying to get gelato before we left, that we wound through the crooked streets, and got to enjoy the beautiful sunshine.

The conditions were that of a perfect weekend. 23 C (70s F) and breezy. We just explored the Plaka district where we were staying and I fell in love instantly. Oh man. It was just a great time. We did all the tourist-y things that you are expected to do and we definitely had a good time doing it. One of my favorite moments was one night, after going to Palm Sunday Mass (they run on Orthodox Easter which runs a week behind Roman Catholic holidays and services) we decided to climb this hill that had a church on top. It looked really high and so as we started on a walking path up the side we were second guessing ourselves. But that doubt was wiped away by the sight that awaited us at the top. It was Athens in all its glory, glowing a light phosphorescent white as we took in the city by night. It was magical. And some random Korean kid asked to take a picture with us. I don't know why.

We also went to the beach and that was amazing. The sun was so warm and though I'm the kind of person who would rather be cold than hot, I could even appreciate it. We laid out on a pretty chill beach, the only distractions being old leathery men in speedos and one grandma who liked to let it all hang out, if you know what I mean. Soaking up all that vitamin D was wonderful...until we all got burnt. Me most of all. My back got really burnt and my legs too. But that didn't deter me from continuing the adventure; we had a great time even after all of that. Now that I am back I look really tan so I can only hope that some time spent on the Mediterranean in Lebanon will give the same results. I'll come back lookin' black! Ha. If only, right?

Our last day was rainy and we spent it going to Corinth. It was a beautiful bus ride and Corinth itself was really great. Just being where Paul preached and thinking about that was one of the coolest things of the whole trip.  The beach, also, was just incredible. I mean look at it! It was a little stormy and rained some while we were there, but we had brought a picnic of Greek bread and we stopped into this small cheese shop once we arrived and had a cute little exchange with the Greek lady who gave us some delicious white Greek cheese. Oh it was good. We ended up eating it in the bus station, but afterward we enjoyed this:

yep, I was really here.

I know, I know. B-E-A-Utiful! And we finished the day with gelato before leaving. That is when we got soaked by the flash flood in Athens. No worries though....we got our gelato! And it was yummy, like the other six times we'd had it!

As the bus pulled out from Athens and Mary and I settled into our seats, we looked back on the really awesome time we had in Greece with Abbi and the memories made and the friends met and the gelato eaten. I'm not sure I would have wanted to do this trip with anyone besides these two. They made it great. And though I am still recovering from getting in at 5:15am on Tuesday, I look forward to the next adventure: Budapest part one: Friends. Cheers.